A fun Christmas Carol (parody) for your consideration

[unclejimbo]

The Twelve Days After Christmas

The Twelve Days After Christmas
(Frederick Silver)
(Not sung to the same tune as the other song!)

The first day after Christmas, my true love and I had a fight.
And so I chopped the pear tree down and burned it just for spite.
Then, with a single cartridge, I shot that blasted partridge,
That my true love, my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas, I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves,
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The third day after Christmas, my mother caught the croup;
I had to use the three French hens to make some chicken soup.
The four calling birds were a big mistake,
For their language was obsence .
The five gold rings were completely fake
And they turned my fingers gree.

The sixth day after Christmas, the six laying geese wouldn't lay:
I gave the whole darn gaggle to the ASPCA.

On the seventh day what a mess I found:
All seven of the swimming swans had drowned,
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.

The eighth day after Christmas, before they could suspect,
I bundled up the . . .
Eight maids a-milking,
Nine pipers piping,
Ten ladies dancing,
'Leven lords a-leaping,
Twelve drummers drumming
(spoken) Well, actually I kept one of the drummers(girls)
Well, actually I kept one of the maids a-milking(boys)

And sent them back collect.
I wrote my true love, "We are through, love"
And I said in so many words,
"Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the birds!"
(echo of "four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree."


*grin* I've been trying to remember this one for some time...

Comments

[catsonmars.livejournal.com]

We sang that one in elementary school chorus. No, really. I remember being like, six, and digging it because it was dark and satirical.

That's the moment Tommy lost his soul.

[unclejimbo.livejournal.com]

You too, eh? We performed this at a local mall in Peoria when I was in grade school... (Grade 5-6?) Ah the memories.

Donna plotzed when I sang it for her...

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

You realize there's only one thing left to do here.

TRIO.

[redqueenofevil.livejournal.com]

Oh. Great. Now I have it in my head. I remember how we had to put green marks on our fingers to show how the gold was so fake.

Well, you'll just have to come over on the first of December, and we can sing it nice and well- lovely. Doo ba dooba! etc.

Speaking of songs

[redqueenofevil.livejournal.com]

If you liked this, then maybe you got to do the PDQ Bach holiday songs? Yup. Our choir did lots of holiday satire back in the day. So fun!

[djdig.livejournal.com]

I sang that song in middle school! I'd forgotten about it but upon reading the lyrics tune came right back to me.

Thanks for the nostalgia trip.

(I have a high school reunion the day after thanksgiving so nostalgia is a common theme for me lately.)