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[personal profile] unclejimbo
To be a true clone of Pop-Star Brittney Spears you really need only 3 things...

1) The Body! Don't worry about the voice, that can be manipulated in the studio. But you need the killer bod that legions of puberty ridden males find so appealing...

So you're going to need to get some things taken care of... A few lifts, a few tucks... Hell, let's call it $3000 in plastic surgery and be done with it.

2) The Hair! She has long, luxuriant blond hair. The epitome of all things Americana... She was even a Mouseketeer for crying out loud. How does a normal gal compete?

Easy, extensions! Palomino I think, but definitely horse hair. Attach that to your own locks and you too can have the glorious main as B.S. [Wiiiiilll-burrrrrr]

"Okay, Brittney. Now concentrate. How many hit albums do you have?"
[CLOP...CLOP... Her face creases in intense concentration... CLOP]
"Good! Good!" Strokes her hair and feeds her a lump of sugar.


3) A Complete Lobectomy! Well, let's be honest. This bimbo can't even work a cell phone. And when she went in to close a deal with Coca-Cola, she walked in with a Pepsi... (Her handlers were able to quickly parlay this fiasco into a deal with Pepsico... ~_~

So, if she don't need that pesky brain, then you don't either. Just scoop the high function centers right out and you'll be just like her... Or Jerry Falwell... Take your pick!

And there you have it! A true 3 step method to be just like B.S. <--- Hey, those ARE her initials... Does that tell you something?

April 2017

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