Can He Make It?
Apr. 10th, 2003 07:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unclejimboIn the interests of equal time and a good chuckle, I present this to you. I hoe you enjoy it.
*Cue canned applause*
Hi folks, and welcome to beautiful Kuwait City. I'm your host James Bell and welcome to Can He Make It? Yes, the show where we see the most despicable folks in the world get theirs for your entertainment.
Tonight, we're here Kuwait with our special guest Saddam Hussein. *Saddam arrives hog-tied and in his underwear. He looks around trying to figure out what's going on*
*Switching to Arabic but subtitled for your enjoyment* Welcome Saddam to our show. How was your trip?
S: I was bound, stripped and stuffed into a burlap sack! And you ask me this? Are you CIA?
No sir, I'm FOX. Anyway, let's get down to the rules. It seems about 12 years ago you came down here and caused a huge ruckus and the folks here in Kuwait have been itching for some payback. So that's what you're here for. All you have to do is get outta town. Of course, there is the small matter that these folks are almost as heavily armed as those in South Central LA. So you have your work cut out for ya! Ready?
S: You'll never get away with this, you SOB.
Of course we will, we have UN backing. (Unlike a certain head of state who shall remain nameless)
*Audience* BUSH!
Aw, you guessed it! Okay, Saddam? Ready? Go!
*Saddam goes running off into the street. The people of Kuwait City recognise him immediately.*
And now we go to John Madden in the Booth. John, what do you think his chances are?
JM: Well, *gets out the telestrator* it's like this. He has about 15 miles to cover. He might make it if the Kuwaiti's take too long in digging out those guns. Saddam's best bet is to try and hit the beach. He may be able to swim for it.
Thanks, John. *Checks the monitor* Okay, Saddam has cleared the first mile. You wouldn't think someone so out of shape could run that fast. Who knew? He's coming up to the first bridge. Looks like he'll make it across... But wait. There's a kid with an RPG(rocket propelled grenade). Saddam doesn't look like he sees it.
*Woosh!* Oops, well he sees it now! Oh, that's gotta hurt. And now their dragging his head through the streets. *Sigh* Don't you hate it when one city always has to one up another. Now you gotta wonder what the people of Bagdad are gonna do to top this?
Anyway, that's our show, folks. Tune in Next Time when our special guest will be Trent Lott. We'll be taking him to explain his position on Racial Equality to the folks in East Saint Louis. But for now, I'm James Bell. Goodnight!
At least, that's how I'd handle it... :p
*Cue canned applause*
Hi folks, and welcome to beautiful Kuwait City. I'm your host James Bell and welcome to Can He Make It? Yes, the show where we see the most despicable folks in the world get theirs for your entertainment.
Tonight, we're here Kuwait with our special guest Saddam Hussein. *Saddam arrives hog-tied and in his underwear. He looks around trying to figure out what's going on*
*Switching to Arabic but subtitled for your enjoyment* Welcome Saddam to our show. How was your trip?
S: I was bound, stripped and stuffed into a burlap sack! And you ask me this? Are you CIA?
No sir, I'm FOX. Anyway, let's get down to the rules. It seems about 12 years ago you came down here and caused a huge ruckus and the folks here in Kuwait have been itching for some payback. So that's what you're here for. All you have to do is get outta town. Of course, there is the small matter that these folks are almost as heavily armed as those in South Central LA. So you have your work cut out for ya! Ready?
S: You'll never get away with this, you SOB.
Of course we will, we have UN backing. (Unlike a certain head of state who shall remain nameless)
*Audience* BUSH!
Aw, you guessed it! Okay, Saddam? Ready? Go!
*Saddam goes running off into the street. The people of Kuwait City recognise him immediately.*
And now we go to John Madden in the Booth. John, what do you think his chances are?
JM: Well, *gets out the telestrator* it's like this. He has about 15 miles to cover. He might make it if the Kuwaiti's take too long in digging out those guns. Saddam's best bet is to try and hit the beach. He may be able to swim for it.
Thanks, John. *Checks the monitor* Okay, Saddam has cleared the first mile. You wouldn't think someone so out of shape could run that fast. Who knew? He's coming up to the first bridge. Looks like he'll make it across... But wait. There's a kid with an RPG(rocket propelled grenade). Saddam doesn't look like he sees it.
*Woosh!* Oops, well he sees it now! Oh, that's gotta hurt. And now their dragging his head through the streets. *Sigh* Don't you hate it when one city always has to one up another. Now you gotta wonder what the people of Bagdad are gonna do to top this?
Anyway, that's our show, folks. Tune in Next Time when our special guest will be Trent Lott. We'll be taking him to explain his position on Racial Equality to the folks in East Saint Louis. But for now, I'm James Bell. Goodnight!
At least, that's how I'd handle it... :p
