Talked to my mom today...

[unclejimbo]

I called my mom in Tennessee today to see how things were going there with my grandma. She's was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in April and so this summer we've been waiting for her to start 'getting worse'.

Well, I learned today that she has gotten worse and my family has called in hospice services. In short, she's dying.

I knew this day was coming, I even told my family to take the time to enjoy the time we were given with Granny before it was time for her to go. Every day we had since April was borrowed time. Time's up.

I went to see her in April and May. April, she was still weak from emergency surgery to clear an obstructed bowel. (A tumor had blocked it, that's when we found out.) In May, however, she was much better and it was almost as if she weren't really sick. Her main complaint over the summer was nausea. In the last month and a half, she lost 25 pounds according to my mom.

I'm okay, mostly. It hurts, but not as bad as when we first found out. Then it was something out of the blue, and we didn't know if we'd have time to say goodbye.

The biggest hurt, I suppose, is how much I'm going to miss her. She's been a part of my life for almost 40 years. That's a big void. 78 years just doesn't seem long enough.

And my mother just turned 60.

*sigh*

And now I live in California... That's a long way from Tennessee. I've already decided to go to the funeral. Nothing on this planet will keep me away. kyburg is going with me... Don't know what I'd be like if I were still alone.

More later...

Comments

[kitty-minako.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that *Hugs*

[unclejimbo.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I've never had someone this close to me die before and sometimes it gets tough.

[lotus-child.livejournal.com]

I never know what to say at times like this. I'm sorry you're losing someone you love.

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

*tight hugs* I'm glad you realised this was coming and have hopefully said all you needed to say in time.... the waiting is the hardest part.... I only had my granny for 15 years and cherish every single second of it...